No updates for awhile

I won't be updating for a few days. I will be traveling up to Minnesota for my grandfather's funeral. My mom called this afternoon to let me know he passed. I don't know too many details at this point, but they think he passed away in his sleep. I was always hoping to have a child before he passed since he was my last living grandparent. I'm guessing there is still hope for this cycle. I messed with my chart some more and it's still showing I ovulated on the 15th. So I have stopped taking the BCPs and hope they didn't do any harm.

So have a safe weekend and don't forget to tell your friends and family you love them. You never know what the next day will hold.

Interesting

I woke up this morning and temped. I was shocked to see my temp had jumped to 98.05. I am wondering if the temp jump was caused by the BCP or I really ovulated. I was hesitant to take the BCP today. What if I did ovulate? But it’d be too late to do anything about it. My husband and I haven’t baby danced since Sunday. I’m mostly worried about what if I did ovulate and conceive and that taking these BCPs to bring on my period will abort the fetus. But I am taking the BCPs for medication to bring on AF and not to contracept. I still feel horrible. I’m hoping it was a fluke because I wasn’t feeling well yesterday with the migraine I got. I only have 4 more days of the BCPs. So the 28th will be the last day I take them and it can’t come soon enough. I hate being on them because the artificial hormones really mess with my system and I always end up feeling sick. I took BCPs several years ago before I converted and was very happy to stop taking them.

Tonight is my first night of classes and school will be a nice distraction from this trying to conceive rollercoaster.

The Appointment

I just got back from my consultation with my Dr. and I’m taking the rest of the day off. She gave me some BCPs to get my period started, but I only have to take a weeks worth. Which is fine with me.

And I also have my clomid. I’m so excited, nervous, scared. I’ll be taking 50mg on CDs 3-7 and will have blood drawn on CD 21. I really can’t wait to get this started!

When I was walking around the store waiting for my prescription to be filled I ended up walking by the baby stuff. Probably not the smartest idea.

I've always had thoughts of me getting pregnant, but I never could quite envision me being a parent. Weird, I know.

So, I'm off to start taking my pills and hope my period comes soon.

Consult tomorrow

So, tomorrow is my appointment. The consulation I had last year I had to have blood drawn. I hope this isn't the case tomorrow. If I have blood drawn tomorrow, there's no way I will be able to go back to work. See, I tend to pass out after having blood drawn. I don't know why. My dad is this way too.

After putting in my tempurature yesterday on my FF chart, my cover line was taken away. My temperature went up today, but I have not gotten my cover line again. So, it's looking like another annovulatory cycle. *sigh* But the good news is that I will probably get my clomid prescription tomorrow. I wonder if I will get a prescription of prometrium to start my period sooner so I can start clomid sooner. I have a list of questions to ask tomorrow and I have asked my husband to come up with questions too.

woohoo!!

So I put in my temperature today and my charts shows I did ovulate on the 15th!

Thank you Mary!

Infertility in Scripture, part 2

Elizabeth, barren and advanced in years, will bear a son

Luke 1: 5 In the days of Herod, King of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah of the priestly division of Abijah; his wife was from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth.

6 Both were righteous in the eyes of God, observing all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blamelessly. 7 But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren and both were advanced in years.

8 Once when he was serving as priest in his division's turn before God, 9 according to the practice of the priestly service, he was chosen by lot to enter the sanctuary of the Lord to burn incense. 10 Then, when the whole assembly of the people was praying outside at the hour of the incense offering, 11 the angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing at the right of the altar of incense. 12 Zechariah was troubled by what he saw, and fear came upon him.

13 But the angel said to him, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah, because your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall name him John. 14 And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, 15 for he will be great in the sight of (the) Lord. He will drink neither wine nor strong drink. He will be filled with the holy Spirit even from his mother's womb, 16 and he will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God. 17 He will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah to turn the hearts of fathers toward children and the disobedient to the understanding of the righteous, to prepare a people fit for the Lord."

Infertility in scripture, part 1

I found a website that had these passages put together. Reading them gives me inspiration and hope. I hope whoever else reads these will also feel the same. I will post the rest in the following days.

Infertility in Scripture

Hannah's prayers are answered with a son whom she gives to the Lord

1 Samuel 1: 1 There was a certain man from Rama-thaim, Elkanah by name, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim. He was the son of Jeroham, son of Elihu, son of Tohu, son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 He had two wives, one named Hannah, the other Peninnah; Peninnah had children, but Hannah was childless.

3 This man regularly went on pilgrimage from his city to worship the LORD of hosts and to sacrifice to him at Shiloh, where the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, were ministering as priests of the LORD. 4 When the day came for Elkanah to offer sacrifice, he used to give a portion each to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters, 5 but a double portion to Hannah because he loved her, though the LORD had made her barren.

6 Her rival, to upset her, turned it into a constant reproach to her that the LORD had left her barren. 7 This went on year after year; each time they made their pilgrimage to the sanctuary of the LORD, Peninnah would approach her, and Hannah would weep and refuse to eat. 8 Her husband Elkanah used to ask her: "Hannah, why do you weep, and why do you refuse to eat? Why do you grieve? Am I not more to you than ten sons?" 9 Hannah rose after one such meal at Shiloh, and presented herself before the LORD; at the time, Eli the priest was sitting on a chair near the doorpost of the LORD'S temple.

10 In her bitterness she prayed to the LORD, weeping copiously, 11 and she made a vow, promising: "O LORD of hosts, if you look with pity on the misery of your handmaid, if you remember me and do not forget me, if you give your handmaid a male child, I will give him to the LORD for as long as he lives; neither wine nor liquor shall he drink, and no razor shall ever touch his head."

12 As she remained long at prayer before the LORD, Eli watched her mouth, 13 for Hannah was praying silently; though her lips were moving, her voice could not be heard. Eli, thinking her drunk, 14 said to her, "How long will you make a drunken show of yourself? Sober up from your wine!" 15 "It isn't that, my lord," Hannah answered. "I am an unhappy woman. I have had neither wine nor liquor; I was only pouring out my troubles to the LORD. 16 Do not think your handmaid a ne'er-do-well; my prayer has been prompted by my deep sorrow and misery." 17 Eli said, "Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him." 18 She replied, "Think kindly of your maidservant," and left. She went to her quarters, ate and drank with her husband, and no longer appeared downcast.

19 Early the next morning they worshiped before the LORD, and then returned to their home in Ramah. When Elkanah had relations with his wife Hannah, the LORD remembered her. 20 She conceived, and at the end of her term bore a son whom she called Samuel, since she had asked the LORD for him.

21 The next time her husband Elkanah was going up with the rest of his household to offer the customary sacrifice to the LORD and to fulfill his vows, 22 Hannah did not go, explaining to her husband, "Once the child is weaned, I will take him to appear before the LORD and to remain there forever; I will offer him as a perpetual nazirite." 23 Her husband Elkanah answered her: "Do what you think best; wait until you have weaned him. Only, may the LORD bring your resolve to fulfillment!" And so she remained at home and nursed her son until she had weaned him.

24 Once he was weaned, she brought him up with her, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour, and a skin of wine, and presented him at the temple of the LORD in Shiloh. 25 After the boy's father had sacrificed the young bull, Hannah, his mother, approached Eli 26 and said: "Pardon, my lord! As you live my lord, I am the woman who stood near you here, praying to the LORD. 27 I prayed for this child, and the LORD granted my request. 28 Now I, in turn, give him to the LORD; as long as he lives, he shall be dedicated to the LORD." She left him there;

Assumption

So today is the Assumption and I have finished my novena. I hope Blessed Mary and Jesus will grant me my request. I want children so badly!

I still haven't ovulated yet and I'm on cycle day 27. I really hope I ovulate today and end up pregnant. That would be the greatest gift.

Obsessive

I've noticed that when I start a new cycle I get very obsessive about my temperatures and every little thing that I think could be a symptom of ovulating.

For instance, today I've been nauseous most of the day and have had mild cramping sensations all leading me to believe that I'm ovulating today. I did check and nausea can be a sign of ovulation.

I've been spending most of my waking hours pouring over posts at Fertility Friend and staring at my chart hoping to gain some insight that really isn't there.

Hopefully I don't drive myself crazy before my consultation on the 22nd.

Did I or Didn't I?

It's getting to the point in my cycle when I start thinking I might have ovulated. Yesterday my temps shot up so I may have ovulated 2 days ago. I won't know for sure until I have a few more temperatures entered into my chart. I really hope I did. We timed it pretty well. I'm just hoping against hope that I'm pregnant and I won't have to take any medication.

Only time will tell.

Blessed Mary, please pray for my husband and I to conceive a child without the use of medication. May His name be praised.

Same old, same old

Things have been uneventful. I'm thinking I might have ovulated yesterday, but my temperature this morning is a bit unreliable since I woke up at 4:35am and I normally take my temperature at 5:10am.

August 15th is the Assumption of our Blessed Virgin Mary.

from Wikipedia

According to Roman Catholic doctrine and the traditions of the Catholic Church, the Blessed Virgin Mary (Mary, the mother of Jesus) "having completed the course of her earthly life, was assumed body and soul into heavenly glory."[1] This means that Mary was transported into Heaven with her body and soul united. The feast day recognizing Mary's passage into Heaven is celebrated as The Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary by Roman Catholics. This doctrine was dogmatically and infallibly defined by Pope Pius XII on 1 November 1950 in his Apostolic Constitution Munificentissimus Deus.

The Assumption is important to many Catholics as the Virgin Mary's heavenly birthday (the day that Mary was received into Heaven). Her acceptance into the glory of Heaven is seen by them as the symbol of the promise made by Jesus to all enduring Christians that they too will be received into paradise. The Assumption of Mary is symbolised in the Fleur-de-lys Madonna.

In honor of our Blessed Virgin Mary, I will be starting a novena to her. I will be saying the Novena to the Assumption of the Virgin Mary. I will be ending the novena on August 15th.

Mary, Queen Assumed into Heaven, I rejoice that after years of heroic martyrdom on earth, you have at last been taken to the throne prepared for you in heaven by the Holy Trinity.

Lift my heart with you in the glory of your Assumption above the dreadful touch of sin and impurity. Teach me how small earth becomes when viewed from heaven. Make me realize that death is the triumphant gate through which I shall pass to your Son, and that someday my body shall rejoin my soul in the unending bliss of heaven.

From this earth, over which I tread as a pilgrim, I look to you for help. I ask for this favor: (Mention your request).

When my hour of death has come, lead me safely to the presence of Jesus to enjoy the vision of my God for all eternity together with you.

God Bless.

Appointment Update

So, my appointment for my annual exam was yesterday. I met with my nurse practitioner. She was very concerned regarding my very irregular cycles. I looked through my last year’s worth of charts and it shows I only ovulated 3-4 times. I think my average cycle length was in the 50 day range. I honestly think that we won’t get pregnant without any medical intervention. My blood pressure was 100/60. My BMI (Body Mass Index) was 19 though. She said she’d like to see me gain at least 5 pounds, maybe up to 10. I’m at a loss on what I need to do. I don’t have that big of an appetite. I know I will have to start exercising more and gain more muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat.

I told my husband about the appointment and how it went. I basically told him that if we want to get pregnant, it probably won’t be naturally. He seemed okay this time to me taking medication. I’m pretty sure the doctor is going to put me on clomid. So I’ll be thoroughly researching it.

I also think that I might have PCOS. But I’ll have to ask my gynecologist when I go back on Aug. 22. I will also have to remind her of the fact that I am Catholic and so is my husband. I am printing off that article on what is acceptable for infertility treatment and give her to put in my file. I also gave my nurse practitioner all my charts from the last year for my gynecologist to go over before my visit. I gave my gynecologist all my charts that I had last year as well. I really hope she actually is looking at them and is using them. I’ve heard stories of gynecologists totally blowing off any charting their patients have brought in.

I guess deep down I’m scared that I may never give my husband any children.